Fat Rascals at Bettys
TUESDAY LETTER
June 6 1996
Harrogate
You might be interested in knowing the status of the world as seen from the front page of The Times, once clearly the greatest English language newspaper. The view is now very uneven, and varies tremendously day by day. Early last week, for example, it was all about the Bosnia adventure and the release or lack of same of hostages. There is the temptation to write "allied" in front of hostages, but that would be incorrect, or at least bad taste. Then, the topic grew to cover the US involvement. Would it (foreigners and corporate bodies are sometimes “it” and other times “they” over here, and I have trouble keeping that straight) send reinforcements, guns and money, or large numbers of Boy Scouts to extricate UN troops and get them back home where they belong? It was never resolved, at least that week in THE TIMES.
Today, the only related reference on the front page is to the Greek ministers trying to negotiate the release of 250 UN prisoners. The first mention of the US involvement is on page 17. It is essentially a negative account of Clinton's lack of dealing with the situation, and that story shares the page with a shorter article headlined, "Gingrich's Sexy Tale Upsets Puritan Dole." The latter reports Dole disapproving "the sex kitten" passage in "1945", the book co-authored by The Newt. The story ends noting that, "Asked to elaborate, Mr. Dole, 71, said of Mr. Gingrich, 51, a touch patronizingly: “He's a bright young man.” Attempting to explain to Brit friends how American voters can generate warm feelings of support for either as a potential president is a challenge, to say the least. Moreover, satisfying their curiosity as to why anyone with such aspirations would: a) simultaneously publish a detective novel, and b) admit to having a co-author after making such a decision, is best met with a knowing smile.
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The Times's story notes that Clinton's Bosnia behavior is,"... a stark example of the inconsistency and lack of clear strategy that has characterized so much of his foreign policy. President Clinton has managed almost completely to reverse the clear undertaking he gave last Wednesday to use US ground troops to strengthen the UN peacekeepers and help them to redeploy in safer positions." The good news is that the story is on page 17. The other top US stories in The Times describe a New York subway crash, Hurricane Allison, and CIA women suing the agency about being "denied top jobs by old boy club".
Remember; Water Your Mule
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Meanwhile, the main story on page one is about Michael Goldman, a 62-year-old Scrabble expert who is suing a national Scrabble tournament over losing a match. Goldman claims that the Association of Premier Scrabble Players restarted his championship match seven minutes early while he piddled away the time in the lavatory. He claims that "More time should have been allocated between the 50-minute matches to give players the chance to relieve themselves." Goldman, author of "You Can Play Better Scrabble", (as long as you plan ahead, one supposes) is suing for £5000.
The report of his case continues on page two, explaining that Goldman took about seven to ten minutes to visit the toilet after finishing his second game. In more detail, he goes on to explain: "I had to walk quite a long way to them from the game-playing area, though a large dining room, then through a large bar and refreshment centre and through the hotel reception, and then through two or three other areas. A convention of cowboys and cowgirls had booked the hotel for the weekend and were using most of the rooms (roping and rustling, probably). A lot or all of them were inside because of the driving rain outside.” (Out West, one eventually learns to be prepared for that sort of weather on cattle drives, partner.) The only set of toilets in the hotel were on the ground floor and he had to wait until one of the five cubicles in the gents became vacant. He claims that Clive Spate, the APSP Secretary, continues the story, "Allan Simmons, the president, and Graeme Thomas, the chairman, failed to honour their contractual duty to conduct the game fairly, reasonably and properly or allow sufficient time between games for players to take refreshments or visit the toilets.”
Revisit Brideshead
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One can only wish Mr. Goldman well in his court battle. Beyond that, however, he might be well advised to heed the advice offered by my father to people facing similar circumstances. Always remember,” Dad would counsel, " your mule eventually will need watering, and more often at its convenience rather that yours. Planning, not pissing and moaning," he would conclude, "is the prudent course."
Home News is reported on page 10, the main points being that "Inspectors urge schools to set more home work", and "Third of children watch TV after 9 pm." The stories are not linked. News Briefs note that 42 murders and 34 rapes were reported in and around Johannesburg in what police called a normal weekend of crime. On a more upbeat note, the Court Circular section reported that, on June 5, "The Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon, Patron, the Migraine Trust, was present this evening at a Dinner held at Leeds Castle, Kent, during the Migraine Workshop to celebrate the Thirtieth Anniversary of the Trust." Lord Aspirin sent his apology, noting that he was indisposed but was pleased that Lady Acetaminophen from Lower Bulgaria could serve in his absence. And so goes The Times. It is staging a price war at the moment to increase its readership, so all of that for only 20 P.
On the personal front, you will be pleased to know that we traveled far and wide the weekend (as they say over here) viewing the rain from all points of the compass. One memorable event was visiting Castle Howard, where much of Brideshead Revisited was taped. Howard and his wife, Howardette, of French decent, currently reside there and open some of their digs to tourists. We met a lot of nice Americans there. Well, one thing after another. I'm not sure this is what Alistair Cooke had in mind for us to do, but we are enjoying it.
*****
Brideshead Revisited Ripley here! Ah, enjoying it we are. I am even keeping a stiff upper lip to the dreary weather that has descended the last few days. The locals don't like it either as we were told at dinner last night. You might recall that we went to a writer's group last week. A brief encounter turned into a dinner invitation last night and a finely prepared vegetarian meal by a local Quaker who also writes career books and tries her hand at doing novels. We have already set up a tea time at Bettys for next week to reciprocate. And speaking of Bettys (which is still at least an every other day stop, if only to view a new array of pastry and bread), tomorrow the Harrogate Spa Ladies are meeting there at 2 p.m. I found a notice of the meeting in the library yesterday. They welcome visitors who must pay £1 for the privilege of being a part of their group. This one is too good to pass up.
The encounters with locals continues to be a highlight. On a short walk around the neighborhood yesterday I met a young woman out in her garden. I commented on how lovely it was and within three minutes she was telling me she was born and raised here, how much Harrogate has changed. She currently lives in N.Y. Her father died 2 weeks ago, and this was her mother's garden.
I completed the short walk around The Oval which is filled with glorious views of private gardens and stately old trees and green areas and came home to our own little garden. It was Monday and the owner's gardeners were here. I commented on their nice work and within another three minutes they were telling me about the snooty residents of Harrogate, how I should come out to their rural area, that they had never been to the U.S. and would not like to come. The older fellow almost was sent there during the war as a 5-year-old to escape the daily bombings, and they appreciated that I appreciated what they called their "broad" Yorkshire accent.
Then this morning I was walking while Jack was news clipping and saw the children come to the elementary school which is within yards of our front door. The boys wear grey short pants, blue blazers, shirts and ties, topped off with blue caps. The girls were in grey skirts, white blouses, and broad brim straw hats. I talked to two of the mums who said the school is private and very conservative, but "a good prep school."
As soon as I got home, two of the local cats which now recognize me came over for their daily rubdown. I like it here! I'm off to the local church for an 11 a.m. coffee.
Combine Antiquity and Holiday
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Just got back from the coffee at the Methodist Church mentioned in the Tuesday Letter. You would have loved it! The group gathered were older women and men and they were so excited that someone wanted to know more about their church. One woman, with the title of Chapel Keeper, took me into the church and showed me all around and then gave me a pack of stationery with the church skyline etched on the outside. She would not take money for it.
Well, we are off to the York Minster, I wrongly said in the Tuesday Letter that it was a Cathedral. The people at the coffee corrected me saying it is THE LARGEST church in Europe.
And it's only 15 miles away.
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